NOW MEE DO!
HOT ORK 'VALIBULL 1-900-GREEN-69
Mekboy (Scorcher-Driva) seeks 'oumie bikin' sista for wipin' da boots, bashin' 'eads and kickin' da ladz (is best fun).
Call 1-900-FUELSQUIG for more info.
Gretchin seeks good weaponsmith for constructing a reliable gun. Gun must be loadable with big nailz, chain links, or buzzer squigs. S'ould 'ave a good area of effect, since targetting is 'dat 'ard.
Mail offers to No.More@Kickin.Da.Ladz.Is.Best.Fun
Mekboy (Scorcher-Driva) desperately seeks Painboy to pull a lot of big nailz and chain links out of his backside. Seeks reliable Imperial Assassin, too, for the final bashin' of da Grot that kidnapped da bikin' sista.
Call 1-900-FUELSQUIG
Drillboss seeks Wildboyz for 'deir proper introduction to da Orks' kulture. Black boots and 'elmets required.
Call 1-900-STORMBOY
Rattling Squad seeks rentable Rhino with driver for transport of supplies in the next campaign. Good insurance a necessity ! Reinforced Armor a plus.
Call 1396-HAPPA-HAPPA if interested
Imperial Electro Priest seeks employment as spare battery. Constant power guaranteed.
Call 0130-PLUG-IN for details
Inquisitor seeks knowledge of hidden chaos intruders.
Mail (encrypted) details to Cardman@Who.The.Xxxx.Is.Alice
$$ Spare money ? Wanna spend ? $$
$$ Call 0190-BUY-MORE-FROM-GW $$
Renegade Assassin for hire ! Perfect kills, with or without blood. Special: Camouflage and evil grin during slaughter.
Call 1-900-CHEESYBOY
Rightous Inquisitor seeks flexible female Assassin for exploration of new positions apart from 69.
Call 6969-WANT-MORE
Tall blonde Adeptus Sororitas seeks handsome puritanical Space Marine. Clean geneseed a must. Hobbies: Working out, jogging, purging the heretics.
Call 1-900-EMPEROR for more info
$$ No spare money ? Want some ? $$
$$ Call 0190-BOUGHT-TOO-MUCH-FROM-GW $$
(I'll tell you the things that won't work)
Dark haired Space Marine Commander seeks lusty, nordic type, tall blond Adeptus Sororitas. Must like pets. Hobbies: Dodging, wearing furs, killing Orks and Eldar. Sniffing trees.
Call 1-900-WOLFPUP for more info.
Tall, bald, head of religous Emperor's cult, seeks strong, psykic female for breeding purposes. Love of family a must. No Inquisitors please.
Call 1-800-BIGHEAD
Ultramarine seeks Sororitas for fashion tips, dancing, and decoration. Hairstyling experience a plus, must have own makeup kit.
Call 1-800-ULTRAQUEEN
Tech-priest seeks assistant. Must be into body piercing, submission, and own rhino. Enclose photo of rhino.
Call 0130-SERVITOR
Athletic, acrobatic, agile private dancer ist waiting for you ! Interested to show off his dance of death. Presence of a doctor advised.
Call 0140-HARLEQUIN
Warp Spider Exarch seeks employment in Blood Bowl Team. Best for hide & shoot field goals. Will use dirty tricks for better results if required.
Call (tollfree) 0130-FASTSHOT-DEATHSPINNER
Dire Avenger seeks aspect warrior with bent barrel, flower pressing a must, call for jolly skips in the park. (No avatars please)
Tel: 1-800-PANSEEE.
Former Eldar Hero seeks employment in horror cabinet. STUNNING performance guaranteed.
Call 0130-JAIN-ZAR
Tall, bald Hive Tyrant seeks slaves for mass orgy of blood. Gender and following unimportant. Must like to be dominated.
Call 1-800-HIVE-SEX
HELP !! Lost my broadsword, length ca. 70", weight 96 pounds, black blade with long barbs. Need it for next invasion. Will pay a reward of 28 human skulls to the honest finder.
Call 0666-DONT-TOUCH-MY-SWORD
PS: Better don't touch, it's possessed from a Greater Daemon of Khorne !
Former army leader seeks partners for butchery founding. No wimps, please, bloodlust a plus, same for possession of a Chainaxe.
Call 0130-BLOODNET
Tired of sleeping all the time ?
Call 0130-THE-HORRORS for the final cure
Khorne warrior seeks lusty big chested hammer wielder, flesh mutilation a must. Must have extra limbs. No doctors please. Please send limbs.
Call: 1-900-BLOOD666
How big is your pustule. If you like nurglings and pestilence, then I have a disease for you.
Call 1-800-BUBOE
Daemonette seeks anything, anytime, any place for forbidden pleasures. No kinky stuff please, I'm not that kind of girl.
Call 1900-SLAA-NESH